True or False CHOICES?

Yesterday, I had an interesting conversation with a lady called Justine, a local girl I sometimes run into in PARIS. Her perception of freedom is somewhat inspirational and I like hearing her viewpoints. I haven't seen her in a while so instead of passing her by with just a wave of my hand, I stopped this time in conversation; and among other things, we got on the topic of sex. I don't know why my sex life interests people so much, BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ONE, but it does!

Sex to me is like money, it should never comes first and that's what these women are doing wrong.

First you have to make a man hungry, then you feed him and this only comes with experience!

Men are funny creatures, on one hand they want a woman who they can easily dominate and control (which is why younger girls without experience look good to them, despite their ordinary efforts in the bedroom); real love is NOT female subservience, which is what comes with inexperience and appeals to men who are not in love ...and I've had relationships like this and they don't work because at some point these young girls are going to grow up and find their feet. On the other hand, men sexually desire older women with more experience because the sex is on fire, which satisfies them alot more than youth. This is a popular excuse for men who cheat on their inexperienced girl-friends with older women - they want the experience of a prostitute but they don't want a prostitute, so older women who have taken good care of their bodies are the answer. Neither of the two scenarios are love, both a state of mind and/or the need to pair up.

In a relationship, the heart should always come first, love sees no age but it does know the law. You know when it's love because it's without conditions and there is a presence with that person that no one else can match, the presence of their soul; which is exactly what I have with Florian TIZIANI.

I remember telling the police one night in front of Florian, that even when Florian starts loosing his hair and turns grey, I'll still love him with the same passion of today; but after marriage I expect exclusivity. Personally, I'm not the jealous type but a girl in the middle can ruin a very beautiful marriage, that is supposed to represent a commitment to the only one you love for life.

For those who don't know, I am a person who prefer men to be younger than me, "...because they go faster"; my Florian TIZIANI, will always look like a Red Ferrari to me, even when he loses his shape.

When I told Justine that, she said, "but not allowing him to have another girl and not tolerating cheating, is a condition". I couldn't explain this straight away because I had to think about it and reflect on it, actually; Justine, made perfect sense but I think what she was talking about was boundaries and that love should enable the respect of those boundaries, as oppose to judgment.

For example (and we discussed this yesterday in detail), that before I have after-marital sex with Florian (maybe next year...), I expect him to take a blood test for STD's, BECAUSE he's had too many different partners for my liking - that's not to say I don't love him, because I do, with all my heart, but my experience tells me that I need to protect myself and take good care of my health, as he does with his gym workouts; and if he loves me, he should without question respect my boundaries that I've set to protect my heart, my body and my mind.

It stands to reason that I've taken the vow of chastity without fail for the past 7 years (since ceasing co-habitation with my husband Bradley Agius, in 2014) and can guarantee Florian, that I am clean and safe from the threat of STD's; in addition my spirit has been cleared over the 7 year period, from past baggage that would otherwise interfere in any future relationship.

Furthermore, it's important to note that the level of NAKED risk for woman is a lot higher than men and therefore, it's only natural that women would require more time before introducing their relationship into the bedroom; it's also common knowledge that men have a very bad habit of meeting their sexual needs at any cost and this is where women have to guard their hearts from being broken; which coupled with my religious beliefs, is all I'm doing.

I've learned from my mistakes and I'm not about to make them again with a man that I've spent my whole life searching for and found, against all odds!

The marriage may or may not go ahead next year (in 2023), with my Florian TIZIANI, either way I'll never stop loving him because matters of the heart are out of our hands ...and I intend to have no one else after him.

I was not a good mother in a way because I didn't want to integrate my two children into a school system that has failed countless children by killing their dreams; I am a big believer in dreams and if I am not in Florian's dreams, then he should find someone else that he can dream about BUT DREAMS ONLY COME TRUE WHEN YOU BELIEVE WITHOUT SEEING. If you need to see to believe, you'll never find what you're looking for because the ONE that was in your heart was dismissed in her absence. This is the stupidity of man.

DREAM... BELIEVE... CREATE... SUCCEED!